I guess you could call it a blog, if you would
My experiences, my stories
I see the Light
Friday, 25 February 2022
I was scheduled to have completed and submitted my dissertation last year November. That did not go as planned. There was so much going on - so much confusion, frustration, a lot of things that, as I am learning, come with being a (post-graduate) student.
I was upset with myself that I had not met the initial, planned for deadline. (Perhaps I felt like I failed myself). Regardless of the reason, I had to make peace with the fact that things weren't going / didn't go as planned. And here we are!
Yesterday (Thursday, 24 February) I had submitted my second chapter. Something happened while working on this chapter. First let me provide some context.
In my second year of undergraduate studies I met a lecturer who I admired and enjoyed listening to. Her lessons were well structured, her content was clear and it was a breath of fresh air - a module different to the rest of the linguistics modules that I was doing at the time. Let's call it formal linguistics. (Linguistics is typically divided into two major types: sociolinguistics and formal linguistics). From that time I knew that I wanted her to be my supervisor, or at least that I wanted to work with her. After an academic year had passed, Dr Erin became my honours supervisor and for that year she was awarded the Arts Faculty's emerging excellent lecturer; I was awarded the Arts Faculty's best honours student. I say this humbly. Because that is exactly what I experienced: I was humbled by the award, to say the least. Anyway, this was an indicator that a good choice was made (which is important to me). To date, Dr Erin and the honourable Professor Theresa Biberauer continue to walk the journey with me, a journey that I am new to, and know a very, very little about. So, in a sense, I sit at their feet and learn. This is something I am wholeheartedly grateful for.
Okay, back to the chapter. As I said, I'm new to this whole formal linguistics business. So typing a chapter (e.g. the literature review) that is based heavily on theory is rather difficult for me. And bear in mind that scientific / academic writing is not a natural activity to pursue. So I find myself grappling with content, the writing process, and (goodness!) Latex! (That of course doesn't include the other day-to-day concerns. For example, while trying to meet the chapter submission deadline, my laptop started packing up. It started doing funny things. That day I spent about two hours on calls with the IT technician trying to resolve the issues. That alone was an infuriating experience, but ja, toe nou). But while I was reading and typing (and reading and typing!), I saw the light. I saw the chapter come together, at least in part. Something sparked and I became even more invested in the project. There's a beauty in things that make sense, especially if it comes after a time of struggling. I spent some time looking at the schedule for the different chapters, and the various deadlines. A much needed peace came over me, one that surpasses all understanding. Because God knows I often have fears that I may cease to be (or that my thoughts may cease to be, as Dylan puts it). I sometimes worry that things again won't go according to plan. Albeit, I continue to work, and trust the Lord.
The moral of the story is that during the process, whatever it may be, things are often unclear, frustrating and can be demoralising. That is why you need the right people in your corner, the Dr Erins, the Theresas, the Tamzyns, the IT Technician, family (to mention just a few). You need your faith. You need a goal, you need to aim at something, a bigger picture. Because when all else fails, when the smaller picture becomes blurry and distorted, those are the things that will carry you through.
Things won't always go as planned, or be pleasant, but you will get through this. You are not alone. God goes before you, and He sends experienced minds, caring individuals to help and mentor you. This too shall pass, and you will emerge stronger, better and perhaps even a well-rounded linguist!
I see the light.
Until next time,
die Kaapse Student
Fieldwork blog: Day 2
Thursday, 29 October 2020
Day two was another success.
When I arrived, there was a bit of a commotion going on. Iemand was gerob - 'n vrou in 'n taxi (as the story went). Iemand van anne territory het die antie se phone gevat. Dit moes nie gebee et nie! Audrey Court (my research site) se mense was up in arms - ready om die skelm te kry! This again highlights the sense of community that I spoke about yesterday.
Everything ran smoothly today. All the mense that said they would participate in the study, participated.
The young girls from yesterday caught up with me again today. And like yesterday, they didn't want to leave. They came close and followed Muchelene and me around for sometime, posing for pictures and telling me a bit about Manenberg.
Yesterday I overlooked him, but today I spoke to a young boy (eight years old) who runs his own business. He has seen an opportunity where others might not have, and is running with it! Again, this speaks to the potential that Manenberg is packed with, and indeed, also the agency to create or be creative. His business: selling young frogs and, if I remember correctly, even tadpoles. Frogs are sold at R1 for six (the smaller ones) and R1 for two (the bigger ones). He labours for his fruits. Hy issie net oppe skarrelbaan nie, hy wêk vi sy gelt. He goes to the local dam, spends some time there catching them young frogs, getting his hands dirty, and makes money from it. And like Locke put it the fruits of one's labor are one's own because one worked for it... So, support tog die jong man!
Ma kyki, today was bietjie more unique than yesterday, more historic, I would say. I had a roti gebba (a gatsby - a long roll with a filling inside, usually lettuce, tomato, chips, chicken / viennas / steak / egg, sauce, etc. This one, though is made with a roti instead of the roll). It was my first one ever. Call me a bietjie stervy, but a roti gebba is much better to handle than the traditional roll gebba - it's more tamed, less messy and more bitable. And like a solid dite - jy iet en vra nie wee nie, is mos filling!
Terwyl ôs gewag et vi session two om af te kick, Muchelene and her sister took me for a mini tour around Manenberg (of course nou nie die hele Manenberg nie!). Ek het rond gestap en so bietjie geluiste na die stories wat hulle my vetel et. Daa's klompi kinnes: som speel innie sand, som loep ront men snotjies wat hulle gesiggies verf, annes skop ball tienni vibe, dattit klink soes skote wat af gaan, annes vlieg wee hulle self-made kites. Hulle is happy. I saw one very young girl and her dad flying a kite. This was a precious moment for me. Fatherlessness (or absent dads) is mos 'n big problem in our communities.
Despite the many problems, the people in Manenberg have learnt what it is to persevere and smile, I believe, holding onto the hope that things will get better. I surely hold onto that hope too.
This kind of work is a blessing to me, and getting to know our people and their stories are both sobering and delightful.
Until next time,
die Kaapse Student
Fieldwork blog: Day 1
Wednesday, 28 October 2020
Day one of data collection, and although I'm tired, I'm filled with so much joy and excitement. It's been a really great day!
It was 'n bietjie windy and chillies in Manenberg today, but the mense there made me feel welcome!
"Unbiased", "neutral", those are but two of the words used to describe the ideal behaviour of a researcher. But ey, I'm an emotional ou (guy). I get emotionally attached, but don't worry, I know what it is to seperate the profession and my personality (dun, dun, dun!). So please don't be too hard on me. I just get emotional (e.g. joyful or downhearted) when I listen to the stories our people have to tell.
Anyway, die fieldwork besagheid is nogals lekke nerve wracking. Different technologies. Anything can go wrong. "Is it recording?" ; "Can the device pick up what the participants are saying?" ; "Is there enough storage space?" ; "Isn't there too much noise?" There's a lot that goes through the researcher's / fieldworker's mind. But I thank God for the help He gave me. Muchelene is an amazing assistant - lekke snaaks oek - en hou van iet, and her family is pleasant mense. Ek het tuis gevoel in hulle huis. And that's kwaai. I get to be with mense with whom I'm lekke comfortable, and it makes the job a whole lot easier eksê!
Manenberg is vibrant, colourful and filled with so much potential. Though, I was forewarned about going to Manenberg - "be safe"; "make sure your doors are locked" - and so on, but you know, I felt at home. The kids were laughing and playing, the atmosphere was filled with the joy that comes with being a youth. There was this specific group of young girls who wanted to know who I was, and they were ever ready for a picture. Muchelene told them I'm from the government, coming to make sure that everything is okay in Manenberg. They didn't want to leave me, they followed me to a participant's house, and waited for me outside. "Is hy dan jou outjie!?" shouted the aunty to them. We had a good laugh!
Now, in no way am I trying to downplay life on the Cape Flats, I'm just trying to say that it's a bit different to what is typically portrayed in the media, and in the stories people tell - it's different when you are there, in the area, with the people. That's right, Manenberg isn't made up of only gangsters, the HLs as they are called, I heard. There are people - normal people just like you and me. And they are loving and caring.
Another thing that stood out for me was the fact that there's still a great sense of community. The aunties in Manenberg care about the children that play in the courtyard(s) - their biological children or not. "My kindt" (my child) the one aunty even called me. This is community, man! Ja, oppie Cape Flats, innie Manenberg in!
Today I also developed a greater respect for fieldworkers. Mybru! There's a lot of work that goes into fieldwork - issie net van oprock en go with the flow nie - is klompi beplanning en klompi wêk, and as I pointed out earlier, many things can go wrong - or not go as planned. For example, today one of the participants didn’t pitch. But besides all that, it's really a joy, or for me at least it was - today was, simply put, one fine day!
Ja, life in Manenberg is tough, but like the one aunty said, it’s what you make of it!
